Mary is thrilled to introduce you all to her Aunt Jami today! She is a life coach among many other talents and gifts! Today she is sharing some inspiration with
us, and we know that you will be encouraged by this story just as we were.
Nothing’s Gone Wrong Here
I’m sitting on my bed again in my windowless room. The cage of my own making. My refuge. It is here that I remind myself to breathe. But not the deep breathing you do to clear the air. To relax. To get ready for the next contraction. No it’s the shallow, “please let me get
through one more day in this house” kind of breathing. No peace. No spark. No air.
Just on the other side of each wall someone needs me. Or ignores me. Or just wants me to share space. I sit with my laptop for so long that my legs are on fire. I search. I hope. I search some more. I long to find something that will make the ache stop. The sadness flee. The bird sing. Maybe this class. Maybe that book. Maybe I need a trip. Maybe I need, I need, I need. Maybe I need to drop the weight… of past mistakes, hurts and disappointment that I carry as if it’s my job.
And then I hit gold in a youtube video. The intro, laughing and playful, draws me in and then I hear it and grab the life line : “Nothing’s gone wrong here.” Not only do I know this is for sure and for certain, I know that it is for me. At this moment. And all the bashing, and insecurity and guilt and shame and judgment of past mistakes and what I saw as wrong turns, flit away through the bars of the cage of my own making. I breathe deeply and exhale a laugh so loud and joyous I startle myself.
gone wrong here.
The words of a sage. Okay she was only [8?] and I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting her, but her certainty
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and her mother’s willingness to listen to this adorable half pint and then share it, completely captured me. These two were navigating through some tough waters as mom and daughter. A tsunami of despair threatening to overtake the ship. But then this
glorious declaration of faith calms the storm and though their feet were not on solid ground, they knew they would be. Soon enough and without a doubt.
Before I heard their story, before I
saw the truth and got hit up side the head with the raw faith of that one statement, I was dead in the water. Couldn’t see
straight. Couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t forgive or
That tends to happen when you judge every move you make. When others disappoint you. When YOU disappoint you. When you have expectations, (better described as premeditated resentments), and demand others to meet them. Why do we think others can hit a mark that we ourselves miss? Something dies or mutates when we get caught in the judgment instead of the tolerance, the perfection instead of the progress, the durge instead of the joy of the journey.
Offering tolerance, acknowledging progress and embracing joy are some integral ingredients of this yummy recipe called LIFE. Just like your favorite concoction, these ingredients help us bind to one another, rise to the occasion, enjoy the sweetness of each moment and form us into the amazing Rowdy that each one of us really wants to be. But if we substitute judgment, impatience, intolerance, criticism and perfection in the recipe, all we can hope to get is a bitter hockey puck right to the kisser!
I know this to be true. As a single mom of six, I lived in a cage of my own making. It was decorated really nice on the outside. But inside, the walls were papered with divorce, bankruptcy, guilt, shame, overwhelm, overeating, over-caring, over-solving, over-relating and equating. And as I ran around and around, desperately trying to get away from all the things WRONG with my life and never running FAST enough to get it all done (laundry and dirty dishes must reproduce when you turn the lights out, just sayin’), I didn’t even notice that with each lap, I was running right past the key to my liberation. An open door was available all the while. I just had to grasp the key that was left for me. And now that I have, I will never lock myself away again.
You may wonder what the key looks like. You may have heard the
Nirvana This which super buy aldactone online parts that YEAR?
rattle of it when it was
dropped at your door. You may wonder what will happen if you go looking for it and aren’t quite sure if you’ll know how to
use it if you do find it. And actually, no one can say. It’s your story to write. Your journey to take. Your liberation to tell. But I can guarantee this, once you hold it in your hand, you will never be the same. And the day will come. You will use it to unlock the cage you have been so afraid to step out of. You will feel the wind in your hair and the sound of freedom will lift you up and a smile will spread over your whole body the day you feel the weight of that one key in your hand.
I think one reason we hesitate to wield the key to our own freedom is because in so doing, we will somehow dishonor the past. Somehow it will all be for naught. Somehow we will be proclaiming it was a waste and we are a failure. How can we leave something we have toiled over and tried to create? How can we abandon our own self and our story? And therein lies the beauty of this one key. Nothing has gone wrong here! It all counts. Every step had a purpose if for nothing else than to accentuate that this is not the step for you in this NEW moment. Every choice had meaning because it gave life to NEW choices. Every relationship gave you a mirror to see yourself and who you really are. Every job gave you a chance to get to know your
own limits. Every lap around your own cage brought you to this moment. To
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seeing a door for the first time. To noticing a key. To being willing to pick it up and unlock the cage of your own making and step into another
part of the journey.
Nothing’s gone wrong here. What a relief.